While I’ve been resolute about my decision to quit my job, pack up and skip over to Asia since coming back from my short stint in April, it has only really become and felt real since I booked my ticket and handed in my notice at work.
Time is funny in the sense that it can simultaneously feel like it is drawing on forever and be flying by in an instant. I guess this is what happens when you try to quantify something as subjective as life with a measure as objective as time.
The three months between making my decision and actually being able to set it in motion were the longest 3 months in recent memory. Now that the wheels have started rolling, the snowball effect has kicked in hard and I’m feeling overwhelmed with all the things I have to do… and with a sense of urgency too.
Provide notice to end the lease. Disconnect the utilities. Sort/pack/move/sell your shit. Organise visas. Organise luggage solution. Prepare for handover at work.
All of a sudden, time is slipping away faster than I inhale packets of cheese and onion Smith’s.
I now feel like the biggest dickhead for being so blasé about this upcoming ‘trip’, forgetting that I’ll be leaving for an extended period of time instead of being able to just drop things and pick them up again in a few weeks. Oops! But then again, it’s not like buildings are going to crumble or people are going to die if none of this happens in time; I’d just be a little delayed. Inconvenient, yes, but the world will not end. This is kind of funny, too – I mean, why is it that I’m questioning my initial and natural instinct (of being ‘blasé’, or just relaxed)? I’m probably not doing myself any favours by allowing myself to get psyched out by the questions I’ve been getting about the logistics of my move.
What are you doing about the lease? What about all your stuff? Which visas are you applying for? Will you be bringing a suitcase or backpacking? Have they found someone to replace you at work?
It’s amazing how quickly I’ve managed to wind myself up about all of this when realistically, there are worse things I could be worrying about. And this, amigos, is how we find ourselves at the point where shit feels like it’s spiralling out of control. Unfortunately, I don’t feel like this is something that’s specific or limited to preparing for travels. It’s a trap I fall into all the time and with everything; to the point, sometimes, that it’s debilitating. From the beginning to the end of writing this post, I’ve managed to put things back into perspective and to calm the fuck down, just because I’m taking the time to write about and reflect on the situation.
As cliché as it sounds, all it takes is a few moments to chill. To identify and assess the worst-case scenario and being comfortable with it before freaking out. Something that, unfortunately, has become a concerted effort to do in the lifestyle I’ve been living in. With the time I will have for myself, I’m making it one of my goals to be conscious of this, to slow it down and quit getting my knickers into a twist. Because if there’s one thing I’m not a fan of, it’s being stuck in uncomfy undies.