This is Miriam. She’s playing under a sprinkler. Who didn’t love playing under the sprinkler when they were a kid? Better yet, who didn’t love putting a sprinkler under the trampoline on a hot summer’s day? Even better still—who didn’t delight in throwing lemons into the pseudo-affluent neighbor’s kidney-shaped pool late at night?

Growing up, my neighbors put in an inground pool—the only one in the neighborhood—and they thought they were the shit. I’d hear them splashing about on the hottest days of summer, having the time of their faux-luxurious lives. Meanwhile, I was playing under the sprinkler with a drooling German Shepherd and sunburn. When the sun went down, I’d redress the balance by hurling fruit over the fence and listening for the gratifying plops.

I was a sour little fellow, but I wouldn’t have been so bitter had Miriam come over to play under the sprinkler with me—I would’ve been the happiest little 10-year-old in the world. Sure, it would’ve been weird when my mother looked out the window and saw her little boy frolicking with a topless bombshell and a tent in his togs, but imagine how jealous the neighbors would’ve been.

Monster Children: http://monsterchildren.com